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Engagement question and answer from the Quran


Notis: Det följande är en reproduktion av artiklen “Engagement per the Quran.”

Asalaamoalaikom.

My name is Z.N and I am writing this e-mail to address a personal concern and ask for any advice from the Muslim Brothers / Sisters regarding this issue based on the Quran and Hadith.

I was engaged about 4 years ago. My fiance` and I have been talking occasionally on the phone ever since and we really like each other, but lately I learned that the practice of engagement has no validity in Islam. Both of us are currently college students and can’t get married and live together for at least another 2 years. My question is that is there any solution to out situation to avoid further sin other than getting married and living together? Any info on this matter will be appreciated.

Jaza-qallah.


I seek refuge in God from Satan the rejected
In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

Salaamun Alaykum Z.N.,

>>ask for any advice from the Muslim Brothers / Sisters regarding this issue based on the Quran and Hadith.>>

Although this is not your question I would Insha Allah like to address the issue of ” based on the Quran and Hadith” before proceeding to answer your main question.

We, like all the true believers should do, believes in God alone and we make sincere attempt to follow Quran alone.

Please make a special effort to study the issue of Hadiths and Sunna as you can find it on our web site at;

http://www.submission.org/islam/hadith/ (or https://www.vasterasmoske.com/hadith_sunna.html)
– to get a better insight into false doctrine of Hadith

Hence, we can only point out for you the information from Quran, the only source for religious information. You must verify and examine the same for yourself and decide as commanded by God in 17:36. God is the only One whoguides. Coming to your question

>>but lately I learned that the practice of engagement has no validity in Islam.>>

Marriage is a sacred institution which is not to be taken casually. God puts up a lot of considerations for marriage. To begin with, two requirements of a marriage are mutual attraction and dowry see 4:24.

With regard to the first requirement, in my view it takes time for the couple to know if they really love each other or not, sometimes years. Thus God gives us the alternative of engagement first, that we may have a better chance of getting to know the other person, to see if he or she is really the right one for us.

We must know that even if we are engaged to someone we are not allowed to meet with that person in private unless we have something righteous to discuss with them. Sexual relationship is not allowed until after the wedding. A sexual friendship or arrangement will be considered adultery, a gross sin in Islam.

[2:235] You commit no sin by announcing your engagement to the women, or keeping it secret. GOD knows that you will think about them. Do not meet them secretly, unless you have something righteous to discuss………..

[17:32] You shall not commit adultery; it is a gross sin, and an evil behavior.

There is nothing unrighteous about the meetings during the engagement periodif it is for discussing righteous matters and for the sole purpose of getting to know whether they like each other. You can meet in the open (or privately, with righteous intention, if required) with consent of both your families.

In my view if the interaction between you and your fiancée` is only through telephone, there is no sin on either of you.

>>Both of us are currently college students and can’t get married and live together for at least another 2 years. My question is that is there any solution to out situation to avoid further sin other than getting married and living together ? Any info on this matter will be appreciated.>>

If one is still pursuing education he may not be able to afford the dowry to be paid to his wife (which as stated earlier is a requirement for marriage). Further God has made men the bread-earner – see 4:34. Since you have yourself said that you “can’t get married and live together for at least another 2 years” you might want to wait for a few more years. Obviously you are aware that you cannot take the responsibility of supporting your wife and family. When you take on a wife, and have children it is a big responsibility.

It is probably better for you to further your education first to better your chances to care for a family. Meanwhile you can continue to meet your fiancée`like righteous Muslims in the open (or privately, with righteous intention, if required) with consent of both your families. There would be no sin on either of you on this account.

May God in His infinite grace and mercy guide us in His right path.

Salaam

S.N.